whatchu talkin bout?
As some of you may know… I’ve recently hired a coach to help me achieve some health goals. I know what you’re saying: “but Patti, YOU’RE A HEALTH COACH.” Well… kinda yeah, a mentor really, but after listening to a podcast a few weeks ago, it hit me. I’d become an expert in health research, but I was stuck in executing what I know for myself. Sometimes you’re too close to see what’s really going on. The forest for the trees and all that.
I’m in week 4 of this 8-week program and am already seeing success, namely in sleeping almost 6 hours at a stretch several times now. You guys, that’s HUGE for me!
I’m not really ready to talk about the whole process just yet, something did come up that we’ve talked about before, but really hit home for me now. I guess I was finally ready to really HEAR it.
Getting healthy is all about your mind.
Sure… you need to move properly and eat the right things, but you have to THINK healthy thoughts to really get things moving.
The biggest change in the last 4 weeks… how I think.
How do you talk to yourself? If you’re like most women, you say things to yourself that you would NEVER say to a colleague, friend, or daughter. Why does it matter… no one hears these things but you? Well, that’s exactly why it matters. YOU HEAR THEM.
When you berate yourself over your stomach, hips or thighs, you’re focusing on negative emotions. And what we’ve learned from manifesting is you get more of what you focus on. Therefore, you absolutely cannot hate yourself healthy. And you cannot pretend you’re going to love yourself when… when you lose 20 pounds, when you save $20K, when you get the big promotion. You have to love yourself NOW to want to make the changes.
He equates it to telling your child you will love them when they get good at math. When they finally learn their long division, then You’ll FINALLY love them. You would NEVER do this to them… and you shouldn’t do this to yourself.
So instead of thinking “I can’t have that, I’m on a diet.” Or “I shouldn’t have that because it’s fattening” Think… “I choose not to eat that because it doesn’t align with my health goals.” Or “I choose not to have that because I deserve health.”
One of my former pit falls that always used to throw me off the rails was “I deserve a treat”. Either because I’ve been so good… or because I’ve had such a bad day. But the ah-ha moment was when I learned that… when we eat the ice cream or drink the wine; it doesn’t do anything to change the reason we’re choosing it to begin with.
Traffic is still going to be a nightmare; your boss is still going to be a jerk. So now all we’ve done is extended the cycle of us being mean to ourselves because we “shouldn’t have done that.”… and setting yourself backwards in your goals is a really stupid reason to deviate. To hit that point home he said… it’s like hitting yourself in the thumb with your hammer because you’ve been really good at NOT hitting your thumb with a hammer. Asinine when you think of it that way, huh. I laughed right out loud.
I’m not depriving myself of the yum, I’m achieving my goals. I’m not weighing the pros and cons of the food choice (it tastes good but it’s bad for me, therefore I shouldn’t)… I’m weighing the pro of the eating the food against the pro of my goals (it would taste good for 30 seconds, but I deserve more than 30 second of yum). Do you hear the difference?
And when I do deviate from my plan… it’s just that… a deviation, not a cheat. Cheating has negative connotations. Deviation is a blip. I was on this path and I chose a different path temporarily. Hopefully, I learn from it. I tripped on that path and stubbed my toe, therefore I don’t want to go that route again.
I know it sounds a bit “woo woo”, which is funny because this guy could not be FARTHER from woo woo, but I swear it’s made all the difference for me.
More on this to come, but that’s what I wanted to share today.
Ditch the negative thoughts. Ditch the beating yourself up. Ditch the I’ll be happy when…
Switch to being happy now, in this moment. To being nice to yourself and loving yourself enough to make the changes you want to see.
I know… this is harder than it sounds, but it really doesn’t have to be. It might be a little “fake it til you make it… but start there. Just make the choice with your very next one.